


Christmas Under the Sea

by Lady Divine (fhartz91)



Series: Outside Edge [31]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blaine Friendly, Boyfriends, Fluff, Humor, Ice Skating, Jealous!Sebastian, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 20:04:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12895701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhartz91/pseuds/Lady%20Divine
Summary: Kurt and Sebastian are participating in the grand Christmas tradition called 'the Christmas pageant'.This year, Kurt gets to play the part of the illustrious co-producer.But Sebastian's role this time around isn't as glamorous.





	Christmas Under the Sea

“I feel stupid.”

Kurt looks over at his miserable, grumbling boyfriend, only his face visible from within the massive felt torso of his equally massive felt costume, the head of which sits perched about a foot above his own. Waiting for his turn on the ice, he stands a little off to the left of the doorway so that the audience sitting in the bleachers won’t see him. Though how they _can’t_ , Sebastian doesn’t know. He’s bright ass white, and about the same height as those obnoxious noodle things car lots use to attract customers. Kurt, standing beside him, is performing double-duty – monitoring his group of kids currently skating, but also ready to help Sebastian squeeze his girth through the rectangular space that’ll spit him out onto the ice. “Just … mammoth levels of dorkdom.”

“You look _adorable_!” Kurt reassures him, biting his cheek hard to keep from laughing. But from his wobbly voice to his occasional suspicious throat clearing, he’s not hiding anything from Sebastian.

“I don’t care if I look _adorable_. I have an itch between my shoulder blades I can’t reach, I’m sweating like a pig, and I can’t see my feet.”

“You sound pregnant.” Kurt chuckles, rubbing his boyfriend’s back as best he can to try and help him with _one_ of his problems at least. Sebastian leans back against Kurt’s fingers, squirming in frustration to help him find the right spot. Kurt eventually stumbles upon it, but just barely. Sebastian sighs, but not out of relief.

“I don’t want to be here.”

“You _have_ to be here. We both do,” Kurt says, trying to sound sympathetic. But considering the amount of times he’s been suckered into an unimportant, secondary role, or forced to be a prop so that a more popular kid could play the star, he finds it a little difficult to pull off. “As junior coaches, we have to support our kids. Don’t you want your students to know that you’re rooting for them?”

“I could have rooted for them while handing out fliers,” Sebastian complains, knowing that answering Kurt in the affirmative will seem like acquiescence, even though that’s pretty much what he’s doing. Even if he was adamant that, under no circumstances, was he going out on the ice dressed like a giant snowman, there’s no backing out of this now – not without him looking like a douche.  

Of course, there was still a chance he might break an ankle or an arm. This seven-foot monstrosity he’s locked inside is top-heavy, and incredible unpredictable. It wouldn’t take much to upend it, putting too much weight on a limb.

But semi-finals are coming up, and he’s not _that_ desperate.

Besides, he’s not entirely convinced that Kurt wouldn’t just shove him out on the ice _with_ a broken limb. It’s not like Sebastian’s routine is incredibly difficult. There are no complicated jumps, no intricate footwork, none of the fancy moves he’s known for. For the most part, he lumbers around the ice, toppling back and forth for laughs.

If he fell on his face and stayed there, struggling to get up, that would probably work, too. The other skaters could just spiral around him.

“I could have brought brownies and rooted for them. Or helped the boys with their quick changes. Why do I have to be the _damn snowman_?”

“Because you’re the only one here who fits the costume.”

Sebastian side-eyes Kurt, but with his head encased inside a stiff, unforgiving spheroid, he has to shift his whole body to do it. The sound of it, accompanied by the abrupt wobble of his chubby body, almost brings Kurt to tears.

“You and I are the same height, _Hummel_ , so I know for a _fact_ that you fit in this costume, too.”

“What can I say?” Kurt surveys the ice, doing his hardest not to look directly at his seething boyfriend lest he lose what’s left of his self-control. “They needed my help with the junior production team. Apparently, I have a way with the under six-year-olds. They listen to me.” He tosses his head from side to side, mimicking a sassy hair flip – a habit Kurt inherited from his mother, Sebastian has noticed. “Besides, it was _your_ name on the sign-up sheet.”

“In _your_ handwriting!” Sebastian hisses through clenched teeth in an attempt to be heard without screaming over the music.

Kurt shakes his head stoically, but he can’t stop the smile fighting its way onto his face. “You can’t prove a thing.”

“Why is there a snowman in this performance anyway? We’re doing _Christmas Under the Sea_! How in the heck is there a snowman _under the sea_?”

“It’s a Christmas pageant, for corn’s sake! Suspend disbelief for one hour, will you please?”

“Nope. I refuse. Not when I’m stuck playing Frosty and Blaine frickin’ Anderson gets to be Prince Eric.”

From the center of the ice, Blaine emerges from the midst of Kurt’s cluster of spiraling angel fish and glides into view. With the brightest smile ever beaming from his face, he sets up and performs an effortless triple Axel – his signature move – to a round of cheering and clapping.

“Now, now. Poor Blaine has already spent many a tragic summer sweating inside of costumes at theme parks all over Ohio because his parents thought a part time job would help him build _character_.” Kurt sneers. Blaine is an awesome guy – polite and compassionate, a straight-A student, a talented skater, and a genuine friend. Whatever character his parents thought he lacked is lost on Kurt. “I didn’t want to stick him in another one. I didn’t know if it would give him flashbacks or something.” Kurt sticks his clipboard under his arm after Blaine performs a triple flip so that he can join in on the applause.

Sebastian can’t applaud. Trapped inside his costume, his arms are effectively glued to his sides.

Not that he had any intention of clapping anyway.

“Besides, Blaine _looks_ like Prince Eric.”

“Wha--- and _I_ look like a _snowman_?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“Whatevs.” Sebastian rotates as far as he can to the left, taking small, carefully calculated steps so that he doesn’t tip over. He spins slowly until he can still see the ice without having to see an inch of his boyfriend’s smirking face, which is just as well since the shuffling dance he just performed has close to ended Kurt. “I blame _you_ for this, you know.”

“That’s fine, if that makes you feel better. But if it’s any consolation, you’ll always be a prince to me.” Kurt winds an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders (he thinks – he can’t tell) and gives him a squeeze. He suspects Sebastian doesn’t actually _feel_ it, but it’s the thought that counts.

Sebastian _can’t_ feel Kurt, but he knows his arm is there by the sound of his jacket sleeve sliding over the flocking on his costume. He’s close to forgiving his boyfriend for tricking him into this uncomfortable and humiliating situation. He really is. He knows that Kurt was in a bind. He’d been appointed co-producer of this year’s Christmas pageant when, normally, he’d just be performing in it. Kurt tried for weeks to fill this God-awful snowman’s shoes, but no one wanted to be the snowman

Absolutely no one.

Kurt bribed, cajoled, he may have even blackmailed, but no dice. If worst came to worst, Kurt would have donned the snowman costume himself, but it would have made his job that much harder. Kurt could have asked Sebastian outright, but they both know Sebastian would have given him shit about it before finally saying _yes_. So, in that case, what Kurt did by putting Sebastian’s name on the sign-up sheet behind his back is justified. He’s about to shimmy back around and say so, but he peeks through the glass just in time to see Blaine in his billowy, white satin shirt, his mock-denim pants, and his pirate-style boot covers soar through the spotlight doing a perfect spread eagle.

Everyone claps.

Not a single person laughs.

Because Blaine is playing the handsome and fearless hero, and no one laughs at the hero.

Not like Sebastian, who’ll get plenty of laughs the second he waddles onto the ice.

Because Sebastian is a giant snow beast.

“Nope,” he says, grumpily wiggling his way out of Kurt’s arm. “Not at all right now.”


End file.
